Thursday, May 3, 2012


I am not good at endings. I'm pretty sure no one likes goodbyes, but I sometimes feel I have an unnatural aversion to anything ending. Even when I'm leaving for a trip I'm really excited about, I get slightly panicky about leaving home. So, my rapidly impending graduation and all that comes with it is causing me more than a little anxiety.

Everyone tells you how fast college goes, but I never quite wrapped my head around it. Saying that the idea of moving out of this town, leaving my sorority, my roommates, my best friends, favorite restaurants, weekend routines, cushy job, and everything else is just scary would be an understatement. Suffice to say, things have felt a little funny lately. Even the idea of not seeing the people in my classes, not walking home from class and admiring the mountains, or driving downtown past all the cute storefronts is adding to this hard-to-describe tension I'm feeling.

Does anyone else share this anxiety? I have this feeling anytime something is coming to a close -- I even get sad at the end of movies just because they're over, sometimes. So far, every ending I've had has led to an even better beginning of something else, but somehow that knowledge does nothing to assuage my fears. I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately -- finishing the last Friends DVD last night practically had me in tears (but then, you'd have to be a monster not to be a little sad when the gang leaves their apartment for the last time. Right?).

Anyway. Today is sunny and lovely, and tonight I'm making my favorite homemade macaroni and cheese with some work friends, then going on a senior bar crawl with my sorority. It's shaping up to be a beautiful weekend, and I want to make the most of every moment I have left in SLO!

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